Who’s in Your Room?

Last Updated on Saturday, 1 December 2018 09:03 Written by Pam Chambers Saturday, 1 December 2018 09:03

My former mentor, Stewart Emery, just published his latest book, Who’s in Your Room? The premise is that the quality of your life depends on who you allow into your “room.”

As a guest speaker at a company retreat, a college classroom, or a Rotary Club meeting, you will not have the ability to control who enters the room. The cast of characters may include: the know-it-all, the rummager, the device-addict, the nay-sayer, and a bunch of extras who just sit there.

You need a toolbox for managing these behaviors. Some tools, such as “Move toward the distraction,” will be used frequentlyperhaps every time you speak. I have a tool named “Halt!” which I’ve used only once, but I keep it in the toolbox just in case. (I used this tool when I noticed too many people leaving the auditorium in the middle of my talk. I wanted to stop them and find out why they were leaving. So I blocked the door, spread my arms and legs wide, and loudly said, “Halt! Why are people leaving? Someone help me out.” It turns out several had to attend a mandatory training session I hadn’t been told about. I held the door open for those people.)

Sometimes the people in your room want to be there. Sometimes they don’t. The quality of your life will be improved if you make space for everyone who ends up in your room. When viewed through the correct lens, even a heckler can provide golden opportunities. Who’s in your room?



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Will This Ever Be Over?

Last Updated on Monday, 29 October 2018 12:14 Written by Pam Chambers Monday, 29 October 2018 12:14

The speaker is captivating. You avidly take notes and agree with your neighbor that this is a great talk. You wish it could go on forever. But then it does.

Dont let this be you. Your popularity will plummet with each moment you steal. People dont want to walk out on you, and usually they wont. But they may conclude that you have lost track of time, didnt plan effectively, are in love with the sound of your voice, orworsedont respect their time.

There are several solutions: Set a timer within view. Ask for someone to give you a time signal. Pack your talk with room to spare. Be willing to dump content if necessary. But DO end on time, and be the last to leave the room in case people want to speak with you afterwards.

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Choose the Right Channel

Last Updated on Sunday, 16 September 2018 11:21 Written by Pam Chambers Sunday, 16 September 2018 11:21

Some people explain that they are “too self-conscious” to speak in front of others. My response is, “You’re right. You’re too self-conscious.” People seem slightly taken aback when I say this, but it’s true.

Your brain can be on only one channel at a time. There are three to choose from.

  1. The Me Channel: When you are on this channel, you are thinking only about yourself. “How’s my hair? Did I wear the right outfit? What should I do with my hands? What if I don’t know the answer?”
  2. The Them Channel: This is much better. This channel allows you to focus on the audience. What causes them to lean in? When do they start taking notes? That man has a question on his face. Find out what he’s wondering. When you are on this channel, self-consciousness is not possible.
  3. The Us Channel: This is the ideal channel. Think of it as a seamless circuit. You put an idea out there. You see a response. You respond to that response. They respond to that response. This creates the wonderful state of “Us-ness.”

Choose the right channel.

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