“No one’s ever told me that before!”

Written by Pam Chambers

When I give people feedback in my group classes, or one-on-one, they often say with surprise, “No one’s ever told me that before!” My response is, “I know.” Here are some examples:

“When you sit with your hands laced behind your head, you seem detached and unengaged.”

“When you stand with your ankles wrapped around each other, it makes you seem like a little girl.”

“When you raise the volume of your voice, you immediately seem more confident and credible.”

“When you give people at least three seconds of eye-contact, it compels them to listen more intently.”

We don’t get and give enough feedback. People are afraid of hurting our feelings, stepping on our toes, or over-stepping boundaries. And maybe you’ve trained people not to give you feedback by reacting defensively to it. The proper response to feedback is, “Thank you.” Let it sink in. Then you have three choices: use it, throw it away, or question it.

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